How to know if your MENTAL HEALTH is not Okay?
I find it strange that it is only recently that people have started talking about Mental Health. But I also do understand that life has become much more complicated and stressful in these recent years. Maybe one of the reasons is some of the personalities in public space coming out and starting a conversation on the topic through the medium of sharing their own personal experiences. No denying, there are a lot of pressing issues in everyone’s life. Till a few years back, almost 10-12 years, life was still simpler. But with advancements in all aspects of life, a lot of us have almost become habitual of living under stress. Hence, Mental Health has become a more relevant topic now than ever before.
We certainly cannot negate the fact that Mental Health issues do exist on a widespread level these days. So many people around us are going through that battle, a lot of them not even realizing that they have an issue. The seemingly happy, fun filled lifestyle posts that we see on Social Media are just a mirage. A lot of times people are just portraying an image of happy selves online just for a social validation. But a lot of times, these people are actually not even aware that was is it that is keeping them away from really being happy and content in the real life.
Before you go on to analyze, whether you have a Mental Health issue or not, you need to understand what a healthy Mental state of mind actually is. Just being sad or depressed over something, cannot be qualified as an unhealthy mental state. It is normal for a person to feel dejected, low, disappointed at some point in their life. It is a part of life. It doesn’t really touch your core. It doesn’t make you an unhappy person. You pull yourself together and get started again with life. Every new morning is a new opportunity. You get up with a new zest and start once again.
It is that time in your life when the WILL to do anything itself dies within you, that is an unhealthy state of mind. When all those things that used to bring you unconditional happiness earlier, fail to create an impact on you. When maybe you have dealt with your pains, your hollowness, and that sense of loss so long in life, that it has finally altered your very CORE. On some levels, your sensitivity to things around you dies within. You can’t convince your mind anymore to move on with life as it. That void in you, that disables you to connect with your own emotional and mental being is what leads to a disturbed Mental Health.
In my own experience, I have come to realize that there are two kinds of people suffering from Mental Health issues. With some people, it is very evident, they are always sad or depressed with life. They lack any sort of positive outlook or strength of will power. Either something really tragic or dramatic has happened in their lives that has made them so or else their general perception towards life is very despondent and full of despair. They are unhappy beings for some reason. Such people most often need some other person in their life whom they can depend on and extract their happiness and support from. They usually have an inherent sense of low esteem, fear of everything around and very confidence levels. Typically, these are the people who are not mentally strong and hence suffer from depression and mental issues at some or the other point in their lives.
But there are another sort of people. They come across as strong individuals with a very balanced and sorted outlook towards life. They generally have a happy demeanor, and seem to take everything heads on, but somewhere inside they are not happy. Something unknown is bothering them. They are ideally not emotionally or mentally weak but something inside is constantly breaking them. There could be a lot of reasons to this. Maybe they have endured some sort of emotional pain for so long and kept dealing with it internally all by themselves, that finally it has just sucked all their happiness out of them. Maybe there has been a deep sense of loss in their life that they have not been able to make peace with. A lot of times, when someone’s good deeds or the goodness in their heart is not acknowledged or is not fairly dealt with, they feel so deceived with life, that all their positivity and belief in life comes to a standstill.
“It is not wrong to be good, but one should also know when they should stop being good.”
People who are clean at heart with a clear conscience are also the people who go through most mental stress. Because they are the ones who get affected the most. This in turn affects their mental health adversely.
A lot of times life doesn’t work out the way we want it to, and we feel we have not been fairly dealt with. This could be in any aspect of life. But sometimes we hold on the grudge for so long that it actually depletes us of everything.
“People who overthink, also overlove.”
I am not an expert on the matter, but yes, I too have experienced a period I my life when I realised I need a therapist. I needed some professional guidance to get out of this dark phase, else Ill just go on falling more into that vicious circle. It was then and at the behest of my therapist that I decided to give a let out to my thoughts through writing and pursuing my passion for fashion, that I started off with my blog “LadyInRoseGold.com”. Since I have always believed myself to be a sorted person, this experience made me realize that a Mental Health issue or depression can happen to anyone. Even someone with great endurance and mental agility can get affected. If you notice these patterns or changes in you, please take it seriously and reach out for help. The current pandemic situation has only intensified these issues further and made us all a little more vulnerable and prone to falling prey to a breakdown.
– You have lost interest in interacting with people, or having any Social life at all
– Things that used to bring you a lot of happiness earlier, don’t do that now
– You don’t seek to have any goals, short or long term plans or any visions for life
– You hold strong grudges against someone or something that is just not letting you pass over it
– There is an unexplained anxiety all the time, you fear something wrong happening, and are scared for no reason
– You burst into tears for no reason. There is an emotional breakdown every now and then.
– You find it hard to express yourself freely. Even if you do, there are sudden bouts of expression and then you go quiet.
– Either you are eating or sleeping too much or too less.
– Nothing brings you happiness. Those small joys in life don’t impact you anymore. You don’t seek love, care or
– Constantly comparing your life to others also leads to a lot of negative emotions and Mental Health getting deteriorated and affected. Social Media has become a necessary evil in our lives. Complications and pressures have increasd Manifold due to it. Do Read my blog post “What is not so loikeable about Social Media these days” to know more on this.
If you so recognize these behavioral changes in you of late or something inside you tells you that you are not okay, please seek help at the earliest. Either reach out to a professional coach or therapist, (which is ideally the best course but surely everyone cannot afford it), else speak out to someone you trust blindly.
If nothing is feasible, speak to your parent or any of your friend whose sensibilities you really trust. But it is really important to talk your heart out to someone. You might need some medication or else as in most cases, just talking about your life in third person, gives you a lot of clarity on the situation. You might be able to resolve your problem all by yourself if you just sit and narrate it out to someone.
I would reach out to you as your best friend and we will talk about everything together, without being judgemental. We all need a safe and comfortable space to express ourselves freely.
Take care and try staying positive, happy and sane.
Lots of love
Garima // Team LadyInRoseGold