Finding LOVE ONLINE on a DATING APP- Does that really happen ?
Priyanka had connected with Aman a few days back on a dating app (a very popular app to find like minded people, make friends and date). She had an instant liking to his profile, not just the profile picture but also how subtle and unpretentious he came through his description of himself. She swiped right and messaged him a hello. This was at about 9:30 pm in the night. She received a ‘’Hello ! How are you?’’ reply at almost 11:00 in the night. Excited about connecting further, she started off with a chat with him.
A very conscientious and well-guarded person, Priyanka had been single for a very long time now, almost 5 years to quote. She had always believed in old school, selfless love where each one of us is made for someone special. An ardent believer in the role of destiny, she was more than willing to stay alone and wait for her God sent partner to meet her. Though, making efforts to reach to that special someone was all that she could do. So, she kept the doors open and kept exploring various avenues to find him.
Finally convinced that Aman was a decent, sober guy, she messaged him her number and they both agreed upon connecting on a call sometime next day. They spoke next evening and it immediately clicked. More pictures were shared on whatsapp and Aman proposed to meet her sometime over the weekend. They met each other and the communication flowed just way too smoothly. They met again in a day and then again after a couple of days. Aman was an educated professional and came across as really suave and prim in his behavior. Priyanka couldn’t really locate any flaw or fraud of any sorts in him. Gradually they grew closer and started talking about a future together. One fine day, they just got really close and consummated their relationship. Priyanka was happy to have found a really nice guy and started planning her life with him. But just a few days later, and Aman was not receiving her calls. No messages, no reverts. She had been GHOSTED upon by him. She checked his Social Media pages. It was all the same, but just NO REPLY !. It was as if this person never existed.
What happened to her emotional well being and how this experience scarred her ability to trust people ever again makes for another story for another day !
Well, this has been the ‘tell a tale’ with a lot of women who have been active on these dating apps off late. Most women out there get on the bandwagon, thinking of finding a nice partner or maybe just a nice decent guy over there. But all that you hope for doesn’t really happen in reality. It could be same for the man also. He might also get duped by the woman, though the extents may not be as devastating as in the case of the woman.
If you are looking for your soulmate and have heard of an acquaintance of your friend’s brother’s sister having found her dream partner on a dating app, don’t start building upon any expectations. Out of the 7 million users that Bumble, the most popular dating app in current times, boasts off today, hardly 2 percent would have found a genuine long lasting relationship out of the platform. However, the ratio of the people who have been deceived or hoodwinked is quite high.
Also, at the same time you cannot ignore the reputation that aligns with each dating app. And it is rather in best interest to position your profile on the app that you deem relevant to your requirement rather than scouting all over the place. For instance, looking for a matrimonial alliance on an app like TINDER would be just like fishing in a pond with not just fishes but snakes, worms, leeches, parasites and freeloaders of all kinds.
There are a lot of popular dating apps available just a download away. There is the much defamed or disparaged Tinder app that is known to be the hunting ground for people only on a lookout for a hook up, one night stand or a casual fling. Then there is Bumble which has harped well upon the gimmick of women making the first move on the app. OkCupid, Happn, TrulyMadly, Hinge are just some of the very popular names in the market who have spent good VC’s and investors funds on their large scale and effective marketing schemes. With some well strategized contrivance, they have pulled off to make the generation believe that they can actually find the elusive true love of their life, only through their platform.
A striking number of people, both genders included have also often reported of being tricked into giving away their money through these apps. You meet someone on a dating app, start building a trust and relationship with them and before you know, they would deceive you into lending them some money. Also, since we all live in a highly paced and competitive world these days, time equals money. Even if you are investing your time, efforts and emotions into someone over a period of time only to get to know that the person was a fraud or just had an ulterior motive, all this time just equals to money being wasted.
We as Indians are spoilt for choice since forever. Our idea of an arranged marriage, wherein you get to choose the companion for your life by scrolling through the images of hundreds of prospective partners is bewildering in its very elementary concept. Same goes for these dating apps. They provide you with too much of a choice. The user is deluded into believing that he can have the next option always available and ready for himself. Swiping left and right equals spoiling for choice and inflating the user with disillusioned and heightened notions of his self-worth and what he is deserving of
So, it is actually safe to conclude that the probability of you finding your soul mate or least a mature long term relationship is almost next to NIL. Rather you would be really fortunate if you even happen to find a decent, sorted and a like minded person whom you can think upon building a trusting friendship to begin with.
So finally, as they say, when it comes to finding love on dating apps, DO NOT JUMP YOUR GUNS TOO SOON !!!
Till we meet next,