Definition of NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH: How to identify one?
“She’s sweet but a psycho, A little bit psycho…”
Hello, lovelies! Did we leave you grooving to the above lyrics? Yes, this chartbuster song by pop star Ava Max may have been criticized because of equating a woman’s perception to a mental health condition. As a woman-centric platform, we definitely condemn that sentiment completely. But on a deeper level, a part of this song (we’d like to make a gender-neutral reference, irrespective of what the song denotes) explains a personality disorder quite spot on. Do you think it is an uncanny coincidence, perhaps?
Terms like ‘narcissistic sociopath’, ‘anti-social personality disorder’ ‘sociopath’, and a ‘psychopath’ are used quite frequently and loosely today. As supporters of mental health awareness, we surely do not deem it cool or a pop culture fad; rather just the opposite. In a selfie-obsessed era, every second person may show one or two attributes that may fit any of their criteria, but that does not make them a victim to this condition.
In fact, just in the case of medicine, the psychology community too, have their version of an Encyclopedia which helps set standards to diagnose someone. However, before we may end up being insensitive to others, it is always better to gain an in-depth understanding of these concepts. For all you know, you may end up helping someone or yourself.
Have you come across someone who is irritatingly full of themselves? Do they portray zilch remorse for their actions? If yes, they may be undergoing something, which can often get brushed under the carpet. Read on to know more about the perils of our human psyche, so that you can remain vigilant and alert. As Nathaniel Branden once said, “The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” To all you empowering and resilient ladies; it will be worthwhile if you could help in squashing this mental health stigma, right?
PSYCHOLOGY LESSON 101
We asked our in-house psychologist, aka graduate to throw some light on this grave topic, which is definitely the need of this hour. Explaining the mental health terms, she definitely helped in solving some of our doubts. For starters, a personality disorder refers to a type of mental illness in which an individual faces difficulty in perceiving and relating to situations and people, including themselves. Constituting an unyielding and deleterious pattern of thinking and behaving, it leads to impaired relationships at home, school, or work. Posing as an umbrella term, there are several specific conditions that come under this spectrum. If you’re thinking that we’re going to dish out an entire lecture, then do not worry, you lovelies. That’s definitely not the case out here!
Moving on to a subset, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an illness wrought with a sense of grandiosity, the constant need for adulation and self-importance, and a lack of empathy for others. A person with this disorder generally termed as a ‘Narcissistic Sociopath’ in medical language. To overcompensate for their unflinching shame and self-doubt, they try to dominate and exert power over others, putting up a false bravado. Now, now! Doesn’t the phrase, ‘narcissist’ ring a bell more clearly? Colliding with abusive behaviour, it may be so hard to distinguish between the two. Narrating her harrowing experience, Sima(40 years, name changed) was married to someone who displayed these symptoms.
She told us, “That he had a constant need for validation, was no surprise. Whilst I’d try to boost his self-esteem, he would often demean and insult me at large public gatherings, thinking that it was making him popular. He’d often pick fights with me on my birthday or other important occasions and would hate it if he was not the center of attention. Whenever I’d try to bring it up to him, he’d blame it on me and make me feel shit guilty about the same. Impacting me negatively, my close family and friends advised me to get out of this marriage. While doing my Ph.D., it struck me that he may have NPD and could be a probable narcissistic sociopath. I sought therapy, and got him the required help while trying to cultivate a life outside our ecosystem through hobbies and relationships”. More power to you! You truly are an inspiration!
A sociopath, on the other hand, is a person suffering from Antisocial Personality Disorder who exhibits antisocial tendencies which are generally attributed to social or environmental factors. In addition to the lack of empathy felt towards others, they find it difficult to express basic emotions.
Some of their other defining characteristics of a NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH include:
- They display aggressive behaviours
- They are impulsive and disorganized
- Deceitful and manipulative to the core
- They are masterful actors and will charm you incessantly.
- They will keep in touch with their exes or people for their needs such as money, sex, or information.
- Difficulty maintaining relationships
- Unstable employment
- Lack of respect of authority or social norms, which may lead to criminal records.
Now, you may be wondering how all this jargon will help you! Coming to the mainstay of this article, we hope to raise your knowledge about an impertinent personality type- the Narcissistic Sociopath.
Definition of NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH- AN EVOLVING PHENOMENON
Firstly, kudos to you beauties for reading every word until now so arduously. We love a woman who is strong, takes charge, and hustles! If you’ve seen the 2014 Emily Blunt-Justin Theroux starrer, did the storyline stick with you? Apart from the effortless and convincing performances by stalwarts, can you now think in parallel synchrony with regards to the credible witnesses and fill in the gaps?
Answering your previous source of bewilderment, a narcissistic sociopath is basically an individual who showcases a confluence of both, narcissistic and antisocial personality disorder. They are mainly characterized by their grandiose self-worth, and often do not feel the need to adhere to the rules or codes of society. Even if they think of others, it will be in regards to their opinion of them.
Their inability to think that anything is amiss with their own self is coupled with the sociopathic tendency of emotional stoicism. Quite a conundrum, isn’t it? It’s therefore, no wonder that they look at others as objects or leading them onto a higher pedestal in life.
Spot the SYMPTOMS
According to popular belief, ‘half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge at all’. Bang on! Imagine having a loved one who may always be in the wrong, or makes your life a living hell, unknowingly. Despite lacking the conscience for their actions, very often, they too are quite helpless with nowhere to go and have to deal with the ill-effects of life. Tomorrow, the ‘powerful, yet powerless’ victim could be you. It therefore will not hurt to understand this phenomenon to help yourself and others.
Appealing to all the single women out there keep these checks in mind and consider them as red flags in case you’re in the dating game, with probably a narcissistic sociopath.
1. They are over-the-top charming initially: At the start of a relationship, these narcissists are all about the gestures, exuding a fairy tale, dreamy affair, almost instantaneously sweeping you off your feet. They may ‘love-bomb’ you with their too good to be true proclamations, emphasizing how special or lovely you are. Precarious, as it is, this intense passion dwindles as soon as you disagree to agree, quite literally. If you disappoint them, they may turn on you. Our advice to you is to proceed with caution, especially if someone came too strong on you. Apart from that, listen to your instinct; it will be your guiding light.
2. They hog the conversation: These grandiose sociopaths love to talk about their own accomplishments and achievements, which in turn make them feel superior to others and helps boost their fragile ego. Possessing talents of exaggeration and embellishments of their worthy self, they are too self-involved to listen to you, thereby not engaging in a two-way conversation (well, if you know what we mean). Contemplate the follow-up questions, ladies! Once the initial honeymoon phase fizzles, it goes downhill.
3. Sense of entitlement: Believing that the world owes them something, they have a low tolerance level. Has your partner or loved one cancelled on dinner or travel plans without consulting you just because they did not want to go? Did they feel that it was absolutely okay to do so, and their opinion is key? Do they manipulate you in succumbing to their needs and desires at their beck and call? If yes, then you know what it is. This gross entitled mindset may lead to aggressive behaviour or gas lighting galore.
4. Gas Lighting Strings: Emotional abuse truly does suck! Leaving its footprints for a long time to come, mental torture is a legitimate outcome. By spewing blatant lies, spinning the truth, and accusing others, picking on you constantly they seem godlike, thereby distorting your reality. Working its magic, they will leave you doubting your self-identity, losing your individuality, whilst increasing your anxiety and sensitivity. Do you often feel like everything that you do is wrong? Are you constantly making excuses for your partner’s behaviour? Do you have this gutted feeling that something is gut-wrenchingly wrong, but cannot put a finger to it? Are you constantly apologizing? Spot the signs if that is true. You are more worthy than you believe.
5. Calling the shots: In extension to the last point, they are always defining the hazardous boundaries, making you dance to their tunes. Having very little empathy and regard for other’s needs, they may fail to define your relationship, while expecting you to consider them your better halves. They will callously reap the intimate, emotional, and sexual benefits while keeping an eye out “for their match”. If you speak up, they may call you crazy or blame you for causing a fuss. In this course, they may tend to get physically violent too and will trap you in a firm clasp (metaphorically). They may panic when you try to break up with them and lash out, trying to find ways to get back in your lives.
To sign off, we’d like to tell you that in no way are we diagnosing someone in your life. Trust us; it takes much more than replicating these similarities. By no means are we trying to cause panic or create fear in you courageous and valiant boss women. This is more of an informational piece, so that you may steer clear of such partners or deal wisely with a loved one. If you do find yourself in this situation, our advice to you is to consult a life coach and take assisted guidance. Empower yourself and inculcate a personal routine filled with hobbies and your happiness infestations. Lastly, always, always trust your instinct and remove yourself from such an inequitable partnership with the help of appropriate emotional support. Send out positive vibes, you lassies because y’all are brilliant, capable, and charged to conquer the world- Who runs the world {(girls?) Beyoncé love, all the way}.
Till we meet next,
Team LadyInRoseGold
