Most ideal AGE GAP BETWEEN COUPLES for a Successful Marriage
“When you truly love someone, age doesn’t matter. Whether it is a difference of 2 years or 30 years, Love is Love.”
What a sweet, romantic notion, right? Hello! Welcome back to yet another heart-warming take on love; that which has the power to conquer boundaries, spruce up and end things, perhaps, an integral part of life. As human beings, we all crave for that soul mate, or should we say, “our person”, who just gets us like no other! To have and to hold, until eternity, right?
Well, if we’re taking you through a lane screaming of a dreamy, perfect, fairy tale romance, then we totally have the rom-coms that we grew up watching to blame. With an added dose of mushiness, sugar and spice, it’s no surprise that we’re such suckers for romance. Do you know what’s funny? When asked about our ideas of love or a potential suitor, we come up with these big checklists to tick off. Attributes like “tall, dark and handsome” are such mainstream requirements, what say? We may improve our flirting game, enter several dating websites or even look ravishing at a party, probably, subconsciously just to get attention. And, all we can say is it’s awesome and courageous to fully know and venture out to get what you want.
But, hey, the laws of universal attraction often state that cupid strikes when least expected. What do you think beauties? Reminisce through your dating experiences, or the day you met your long-term partner. In most probability, you barely expected any fireworks in your heart. The surge and the intense passion of being in love are just exhilarating and out of the world.
So, when do you know that you have fallen ‘head over heels’ for someone? Ahem! A wise sage once quipped, “When you love someone, age, distance, height, weight is just a damn number.” WORD! Lol, should we throw that checklist out of the window?
Giving us major, ‘old is new’ feels, a trend that has managed to stay put in varying intensities are couples having bigger age gaps. Think about it- didn’t our grandparents or forefathers have age gaps that fell under different generations? How did the supposed ‘generation gap’ work in their favour or against them?
From an evolutionary perspective, human beings tended to have an age gap of at least five years, when they copulated or started a family. A practice passing through generations, several relationship experts find this arrangement ideal because emotionally, men are believed to mature gradually and a little later as compared to women. So, folklore says that a 30-year-old man is probably as psychologically mature as a 25-year-old woman. Do you think this is true? Maybe or maybe, not!
Even though this age paradigm between men and women is seen commonly, it is surprising when there is a vast age gap, or when in a dynamic, the woman is older. With the world becoming smaller and a bit more unconventional this fad is on a rise and here to stay! While shackling these deeply entrenched stereotypes, is this rising current a testament to the adage, “Age is just a number?” Hell yes!
FAMOUS PERSONALITIES WHO HAVE ALTERED THE TRADITIONAL AGE GAP IN MARRIAGE
From the suave and dapper Adam Levine and his lady love Behati Prinsloo proving that a ten-year age gap does not hamper their relationship, to George and his feisty wife Amal Clooney sticking and growing together through thick and thin, love triumphs forever. We generally look at celebrities who dish out some serious unfiltered inspiration or as we famously say #couplegoals!
The effervescent Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds; power couple Beyoncé and Jay-Z; the super charming Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey or the adored Ellen DeGeneres and her better half, Portia de Rossi are just some of the Western stalwarts who have marvellously stood the test of time (or should we say age). Locally, Mira- Shahid, Kareena-Shahid and Hema Malini-Dharmendra are touted as the go-to couples. They all seem so much in love that it makes us pine for and want the same.
While this curve has been seen for ages, you know what’s more interesting is to see an older woman falling for a younger man. In fact, there is quite a lot of stigma and ostracism attached to it. Why is that? Is it because it is not the accepted way of life? Pondering about the same, who really decides these wisecracks? After all, isn’t LOVE helmed as the ultimate goal? As novelty takes time to carve a niche, we hope this fast-gaining phenomenon too will find its place and respect with time.
Always making headlines for her choices and living life fearlessly on her own terms, global icon Priyanka Chopra Jonas shattered the internet when she and her now-husband, singer, Nick Jonas started their whirlwind romance, before tying the knot. Going by her pen name, PeeCee is 11 years older than her husband, and shackling stereotypes, their match is truly made in heaven. Constantly empowering and supporting one another, they’ve always been there cheerleading through it all. And, they couldn’t look more in sync. Touchwood, right?
But they’re not the only ones. The evergreen duo, Hugh Jackman- Deborra Lee Furness is still going strong after 25 years of matrimony. Back home, our OG divas like Urmila Matondkar, Sushmita Sen, and Malaika Arora chose love in its most unadulterated form. They opened up their hearts fully, and could not be happier. The latest celebrity to join the bandwagon is the playful and ditsy Gauhar Khan who embraced her ‘happily ever after’ with the much younger Zaid Darbar.
Society has evolved through the years, but even today, an older woman is famously addressed as a ‘Cougar’, and such unions are frowned upon. Kind of misogynistic, don’t you think? We wonder if these naysayers believe that a lady’s older age gives her more power to call the shots in the relationship. To all you ignorant souls, we’d like to burst this shallow bubble and tell you that this bond can turn into something beautiful, while firmly being rooted in trust, honesty and integrity. It takes a real man to let the woman flourish and support her endlessly. To all you valiant souls, we applaud you for your forward feminist candour.
IS THE 5+ MARK IN AGE DIFFERENCES DETRIMENTAL FOR COUPLES?
Now, now! It’s time for the penultimate truth- If two people are meant to be together, they will be. In that moment, when the gush of energy and affection overpowers our entire being, nothing stops us from being with our ‘right one’. Honestly, if two people are truly happy and content with each other, then these man-made boundaries hold no effect. It’s they who have to spend their lives together, so the decision to do so also rests with those concerned.
However, the age gap can really make or break you. Your faith and commitment towards keeping the spark alive is what makes all the difference. But, let us look at both sides more objectively, aka, time for a pro-con list.
– Reproductive Prime: Traditionally, men are the breadwinners of the family. Although women today are shattering glass ceilings of sorts, in the corporate world, the child-bearing responsibility falls on them due to biological differences. Men tend to settle or look for a life partner after they have somewhat secured their finances to enable putting a roof on their heads. They prefer women who are more youthful and revitalizing, bringing forth a new zest to their lives. A younger wife is not only attractive, but her chances of procreating are higher when she is in her twenties until mid-thirties. As for the lucky lassies, they may look for other attributes such as status and stability too. Well, we know that this mindset is not always true, and times are changing.
– Emotional and Physical Compatibility: We all know that women tend to mature and develop faster emotionally as compared to men. Be it the presence of maternal instincts, the former are more in tune with their feelings. Men take longer to get there. Therefore, to balance the equilibrium, such opposite souls may be attracted together. Today, however, with men becoming more understanding and empathic at a younger age, they prove to be more compatible with their older soul mates, thereby widening our horizons. Sometimes, love is truly blind.
– The older you are, the easier it gets? : Sounds confusing? Due to the enlarged gulf, couples are generally at different life stages throughout their lives. They can use it to their advantage, and steer their better halves effectively, while guiding and hand-holding them through the various curveballs life may throw at us. Hey, sometimes, all you need is some childlike energy or an experienced perspective to thrive, right? However, this can be a source of conflict too, since one may want to go out and socialize, while the other may want to stay in or relax. Such frequent disagreements and distinct ideas of living may bridge an irreconcilable gap.
– Sexual differences matter: You cannot say you weren’t warned. After a particular age, both men and women’s sexual prowess or libido decreases. While one partner may be in their prime and crave for intimacy every other day, the other may want a more tranquil sexual life. Having said that, these issues can be worked upon through open and honest discussion. Eventually, it comes down to the amount of love that stands the test of time.
– Feeling younger: True that! When you are dating or married to a much younger man or woman, they bring along a diverse perspective, along with boisterous and vibrant energy. They show you things differently, make you adventurous and just live in the moment. Talk about adding a youthful zest and excitement! But sometimes, the old one needs to stand firm too.
– The impertinent question: Any guesses? Yes, we’re talking about the inevitability of having kids which can be an issue. If you’re on the same page, it’s great, but sometimes being at different life stages, one may not be ready to move on to that chapter. In case if the woman is older, she needs to pay heed to her ‘biological clock’. If you’ll are Netflix fans, and have binged on the show, ‘The Bold Type’, this gravely changed the dynamic between the lovebirds and newly married Sutton and Richard. Need we say more?
– Typecasting much: Common beliefs such as ‘it’s easier to date older men’,‘ older women find have it harder’ or ‘ younger women are often troubled’ are not entirely true, and quite ridiculous. These stereotypes are quite derogatory and call for some unkind attention. The answer lies in turning a deaf ear, and carrying on with believing in each other. Try new things, solidify your faith and just live fearlessly.
In conclusion, two like-minded individuals who belong to each other will find their way through their similar belief systems, values, and yes, their destiny. Embodying hope, let’s spread more light and uplift each other. We’d like to leave you with a quote: “In true love, the smallest of distance sometimes is too great and the greatest distance can be bridged.”