Husband and Wife relationship – It is a delicate relationship, we all know that. But even more now in the current times, when everybody is aware of their rights, are strongly opinionated and somewhere have it embedded in their heads to put their own good before the other. Marriages, these days are hugely complicated. A few of them are not able to survive the dark, stormy days. And the ones that do, do have their fair share of upheavals and fallouts. How we wish there was actually a marriage manual that would teach us how to make a marriage successful and live a blissful married life.
Or better still, if we all had a scan code similar to that of our true soul mate with who we are supposed to be together in this journey called life. We would simply meet people, scan the codes, see if they match and if they do, then settle down and live happily ever after. But sadly, that doesn’t happen.
Priyanka and Aman had a courtship of 4 years before tying the knot. She was a beautiful, confident girl who would always support Aman through everything. Aman too was a self-made man who had seen the hardships of life and had fallen for the grace and maturity of Priyanka. Both were happy in their world and would stick together and makeup even if some small disputes or clashes would happen at times. Priyanka knew that Aman was short-tempered, but she also knew he loved her madly and would listen to her no matter how angry. Both had understood each other’s temperaments well and had adjusted their ways around the other accordingly.
It was only after they got married and Aman’s family would pinpoint inconsequential concerns to him that would leave his mind all chaotic and baffled. So much so was his mind influenced and fuelled, that one day, during a small disagreement, he rudely said to Priyanka that marrying her was the biggest mistake of her life. He could have done much better than her.
Though, in his heart, he knew what a wonderful wife he had got, this nasty statement kind of etched itself forever in Priyanka’s mind. She cried the whole night and could not come to terms with the fact that he had disrespected her self-worth. As opposed to until now, when she will go out of her way to keep Aman happy and take care of his needs, she now started holding herself back. She realized that there was no point in extending such warm selfless love if it was not being appreciated.
Aman, on the other hand, would feel that Priyanka is an egoistic woman and does not want to make any amends to their relationship. Little did he realize the gravity of the emotional trauma that his one brutal remark had impacted Priyanka. Gradually distance grew between the couple and frequent fights and passive silent treatments led to nothing but all love lost between them.
Six Hurtful Things a Husband and Wife Should Never Say to Each Other
Every couple fights, but there are a few things that are outright mean and arrogant and should never be blurted out, no matter how ugly it gets. Word once spoken, can never be taken back. The damage that spoken words can cause is permanent and it is often very difficult to undo their effect.
1. Never say you made a mistake marrying them – This is a usual statement that many partners say to each other during an ugly fallout. But no good can ever come out of it. The road would only go downhill from there. If some part of you still loves your partner and believes in your husband and wife relationship, never utter these words during an argument. It can deeply hurt the other person’s self-esteem and stop them from putting effort into the relationship.
2. Never make anything spoken privately go public – If your spouse has opened up the remotest secrets of their heart to you and confided their emotions to you, never talk about them in front of others. This is going to cause a serious dent in your relationship and your partner would never trust you again. What happens between a couple, stays between a couple.
3. Do not stereotype them repeatedly – This especially holds true in case of their weaknesses. A lot of men keep telling their women that they are overly sensitive or emotional. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive to things around you. Similarly, if the wife constantly keeps nagging for attention, that can also get very pestering for the husband. Constantly calling your partner uncaring and heartless is only going to push them further away from you. Some people are innately configured a certain way. We do not need to compartmentalize them and hold them guilty for being the way they are.
4. Do not keep telling your partner to leave you and go – Until and unless you really want that to happen. A lot of couples in their own anger and frustration, ask their partners to quit the relationship and leave forever. Even when they do not want the same to happen. One needs to understand that during disagreements and quarrels, the person would only take into consideration the words you have said. If you will say something nasty, that is how it is going to be registered. The other person cannot delve into your heart and know what’s going on. Refrain from saying to this effect if you do not really want a permanent closure.
5. Never ridicule your partner’s insecurities – We are all that our experiences in life have been. What we have gone through in our childhood and adult life is what shapes our current state of mind. We all have our own trigger points. Something that resonates with some unsavoury and unpleasant in our lives. Our insecurities are also a reflection of our low confidence in that arena of life. It speaks of low prudence if you body-shame your partner on their colour, size, body shape, height or anything else. Once married, you embrace your spouse wholeheartedly and in all wholeness. Never ridicule or make light of your partner’s insecurities. You never know how deep it can hurt them. Rather, try to be over-empathetic and cautious to not put them off or trigger anything, even knowingly, that can completely put their mental health off track. If your spouse is not happy or calm, it is definitely going to affect your relationship adversely.
6. Do not belittle your partner’s ambitions or visions in life – They say it takes the union of two happy people to form a happy married life. And while a fulfilling personal life does lead to a lot of emotional security, what a person does in their professional life is also a major contributor to their growth and self-confidence. This is especially true in the case of the wife. Be the wind beneath each other’s wings. Help each other dream big and work hard to achieve their full potential. Never ignore or judge your partner’s ambitions recklessly. One should certainly share their perspective and give your partner a realistic view of things, but let them fly their own chartered path. Support them and enjoy every small accomplishment and equally learn lessons from failures and keep moving on together. Isn’t that what the journey of life is all about?
When two people commit to each other in a marital union or vow to be together through the rest of their lives, it means that we are taking accountability for not just their love life but also their emotional and mental health. In anger, we are tempted to say a lot of things, often dictated by our ego and our urge to put the other person down, but a lot of times, the remarks can really go under the belt. Whether in humour or anger, steer clear of these few things and never utter them to your partner.
We would love to hear if you have any similar experiences or remarks to share. Please put it down in the comments below.